Don’t Throw Me in that Briar Patch, Br’er fox!

ATTENTION: Owing to some kind of error in the huge, unresponsive bureaucracy of Kindle Direct Publishing, part of Amazon, many of my outstanding small-press publisher’s books are no longer listed on Amazon.com. This includes my Amazon Best-seller immigrant saga The Price of Passage and also the heartwarming coming-of-age story, Izzy Strikes Gold

FORTUNATELY, we do not rely on Amazon to get our books in people’s hands. You can purchase either or both of these books direct from the publisher by clicking these links: Izzy and Passage.

Thank you for your unwavering support of fine literature from small, independent presses.

Larry F. Sommers, Your New Favorite Writer

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Dear Reader, let’s review:

Literary Lion. Photo by Kevin Pluck, licensed under CC BY 2.0.

I left off other pursuits at age 70 to work seriously on becoming Your New Favorite Writer. By writing and publishing two great books (The Price of Passage and Izzy Strikes Gold!), a few short stories, and about 325 blog posts—weekly ruminations on the past, the present, and topics of literary and historical interest—I have established a late-life career as a minor, yet real, literary lion.

But a few weeks ago, at age 80, this literary lion discovered a serious condition—a lumbar stenosis—that required surgery if I wanted to spend the rest of my days upright and ambulatory. It’s a tough operation, involving a long dorsal incision, six hours on the table, and the placement of rods and screws inside my spine. 

I solemnly vow, Gentle Reader: This is the last time I will lumber you with tales of Your New Favorite Writer’s surgical woes. As rumors, spread by me, of post-operative grief have turned out to be exaggerated, we will return next week to interesting stuff.

Suffice it to say: An octogenarian takes several months to recover from this kind of event. I am working on it. 

Br’er Fox throws Br’er Rabbit in the briar patch. Walt Disney Productions. Fair Use.

NOW, HERE IS THE COMPENSATORY BLESSING that has been revealed: In the past weeks—just before the Big Health Scare, continuing through it, and afterwards as well—a more ambitious literary agenda has come into focus. It includes a way through the thicket of the current work-in-progress, a WWII-era historical novel; the impetus for a narrative nonfiction work on a “history-of-religion” topic; a Vietnam-era military memoir; a speculative fiction comic novella partly inspired by the Big Health Scare; several new short stories; and a more sustainable approach to marketing and selling these gorgeous hunks of intellectual property. 

Gentle Reader, from this end of the telescope I suddenly see every bit of life—every difficulty, every failure, all the boredom and frustration experienced at tasks I didn’t want to be doing—or more precisely, tasks the preparatory value of which I did not grasp—every problem encountered and surmounted or endured: I now see all of that as simply a fair price paid for the marvelous vista gleaming just ahead. 

Excuse me, but I’ve got to get to work. See you next week.

Blessings,

Larry F. Sommers

Your New Favorite Writer

Recovery Daze

ATTENTION: Owing to some kind of error in the huge, unresponsive bureaucracy of Kindle Direct Publishing, part of Amazon, many of my outstanding small-press publisher’s books are no longer listed on Amazon.com. This includes my Amazon Best-seller immigrant saga The Price of Passage and also the heartwarming coming-of-age story, Izzy Strikes Gold! 

FORTUNATELY, we do not rely on Amazon to get our books in people’s hands. You can purchase either or both of these books direct from the publisher by clicking these links: Izzy and Passage.Thank you for your unwavering support of fine literature from small, independent presses.

Larry F. Sommers, Your New Favorite Writer

Surgeons operating. Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash.
Not my lower back, but someone’s. Image by Jmarchn, licensed under CC-BY-SA-3.0.

I am an aged writer now recovering from a major surgical project on my lumbar spine. They re-aligned and fused the L3 and L4 vertebrae through a seven-inch incision, in a six-hour operation. 

Recovery is not so quick and easy.

I used to make my own breakfast, because I like it a certain way, and my wife does not get hungry as early as I do. Now, she cooks the oatmeal, and I just sit at the table and spoon on the berries.

After breakfast, it used to be: shower, shave, dress, and go about my day. Now, I totter from the table to the recliner and stretch out for my first rest period. Breakfast is tiring, you know. 

In the recliner, blissful relaxation takes over. My whole body feels happy except for some minor discomfort in the back—you know, where they did the construction project. To relieve the boredom, I check the email on my cell phone, and maybe look at the day’s news headlines. But, you know, holding up the phone above my head wears me out, so I have to take it in stages.

Eventually, I make my way to the bathroom for the shower-shave-and-dress routine. It takes longer than it used to. By the time I present myself, fully dressed and smelling good, it’s time for lunch.

And lunch—well, you know—lunch can be exhausting. I need a time of rest after lunch.

On a good day, there may be an hour, or half an hour—between post-lunch rest and mid-afternoon nap—to sit at the laptop, focus, and achieve something. It may be only re-arranging medical appointments. Or puzzling out the meaning of a significant email. Or tending to something that needs advance planning, like marketing events several months in the future. 

Maybe I can write a page or two on one of several works in progress. But not much progess. It goes by inches, not yards.

Then it’s time to rest again. You get the idea. 

The thing is, Dear Reader, I have, at this moment, three or four good books in me—fun books, interesting books, useful books—but it’s hard work to get them out of my head and onto paper. It takes time. Your New Favorite Writer’s time at this point, like J. Alfred Prufrock’s, is being measured out with coffee spoons. 

But one must endure.

I discovered I am not young anymore. Some wag long ago minted the lines:

“How do I know that my youth is all spent?
Well, my get up and go has got up and went.”

And it’s true, Neighbor. It’s true.

Shakespeare portrait by John Taylor (1585-1651). Public Domain.

It’s the sixth of Shakespeare’s seven ages:

the lean and slipper’d pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well sav’d, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound.
Old man walking. Photo by Zhuo Cheng you on Unsplash.

Some old men move as if they were made of Waterford crystal. I fear I’m starting to walk that way.

At eighty, when you are blindsided by something your body has been saving up for decades, you can be forgiven for wondering what else might be in store. You can’t help turning a kind of mental corner. 

Life will be different now, maybe wildly different. At the very least, adjustments must be made.

But it’s early in recovery yet. I’ll be back, Dear Reader. 

I pray the good Lord will give me the time I need to get what’s in my head out onto paper. 

I expect to be in my booth at book fairs early in the fall. Come buy The Price of Passage or Izzy Strikes Gold!

Blessings,

Larry F. Sommers

Your New Favorite Writer

Summum Discursum

William Bendix, left, canonized the line, “What a revoltin’ development this is!” on the 1950s sitcom The Life of Riley. Nervously clutching the banjo is Sterling Holloway. Publicity photo. Public Domain.

What a revoltin’ development this is!

Your New Favorite Writer’s thrills and chills of the past week have shaken loose a flurry of new notions–things I must share with you or burst–yet those same impacts, centering on major surgery in my lower spine, have left me wounded on the field, writhing in pain, unable to lift the flimsiest quill to set forth any manifestos.

Woe is me! Woe unto all in my estate: Popping with ideas and lacking any train of thought, any line of persistent expression, across which to festoon them.

I am reduced to hunting and pecking, upward from below, on a cell phone to string a concatenation of letters, one by one, hoping they will arrange themselves into words, and the words into thoughts and sentences, and it will all mean something while I lie spraddled on an ice pack.

Is it time for my next pill? Yes, please.

Next week, Dear Reader.

Blessings,

Larry F. Sommers

Your New Favorite Writer

Another Big Week

What a week. 

St. Louis Gateway Arch. Photo by Yinan Chen, Public Domain.

My apologies, Gentle Reader, for not posting here last week. I was busy attending a national church convention in St. Louis. We had a wonderful time, caught up with a lot of old Congregationalist friends, and learned a few new things. 

We got a scare on the way home. Your New Favorite Writer experienced a sudden weakness of the thighs amounting to total collapse. I had to hunker over the sink in the hotel bathroom because my legs wouldn’t stand up. It was terrifying.

Praise the Lord, it was a transient episode. After a minute or two, I was all right.

But it happened again at home the day after we got back. This time, I called 911. 

A squad of paramedics and firefighters swooped down and bore me, as on angels’ wings, to the University of Wisconsin Hospital Emergency Room. It was all very swift and efficient. 

MRI image of lumbar spinal stenosis. Not mine, but similar. Image by Jmarchn, licensed under CC-BY-SA-3.0.

It was still scary.

At the hospital, medicoes gave me an MRI scan and found spinal stenosis in the lumbar region. Displaced vertebrae squeezed the nerves that work my legs, and that’s what caused a temporary paralysis. If left untreated, this condition might kill those nerves and make me a permanent invalid.

I sure am glad we have doctors. And nurses. And MRI machines, and the technicians who run them. God bless them, every one.

I have an appointment with a neurosurgeon, and we’ll schedule an operation to fix the problem. Soon, I hope. 

Regular readers of this blog will appreciate the irony. In our last installment, I had just turned 80 and was flying high with the thrill of being in such good shape, looking forward to an active old age. 

“Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.”—Proverbs 16:18

“How are the mighty fallen!”—2 Samuel 1:19.

The Bible has a lot of sayings like that.

I never used to be very good at praying, but I’ve gotten better—because so many friends need prayers. In the last decade, no day goes by but two or three people of my acquaintance need intercessory prayer—often for cancer, but for other woes as well. 

I often thank God for the astounding string of blessings that has allowed me to escape major health threats. Until now.

Going to the ER was an emotional experience. Answering questions posed by paramedics, doctors, and nurses, my voice trembled—a sign that I was shaken.

Lying on the gurney awaiting an MRI scan, I prayed sincerely to the Lord God above—up there somewhere beyond the fluorescent ceiling lights. I prayed an intercessory prayer, this time on my own behalf. But I also mentioned my friends Stu and Janet, visited by different forms of cancer—because the Lord knows we’re all in this together.

After my MRI scan, as I lay on the gurney awaiting transport back to the ER, I said Psalm 23 in my mind two or three times. I was led beside the still waters; I was made to lie down in green pastures; His rod and His staff, they comforted me. 

Beside still waters. Photo by Elsie Anderson on Unsplash.

Over a long lifetime I have been, at times, a reluctant convert, honoring God more by omission than observance. But as we age, our perspective tends to true up. Life is fleeting and precious. 

Years of spiritual training and practice have prepared me, at least a bit, for this moment. I know some good ways to get in harmony with the Creator and enjoy my role in His universe.

I hope the surgery will be soon. Please pray that I make a good recovery. 

Blessings,

Larry F. Sommers

Your New Favorite Writer

Are the Cicadas Singing?

My right ear abandoned its duty forty years ago. All sounds it transmitted became muffled and distant. The diagnosis was hereditary otosclerosis.

X-ray of otosclerosis by Mustafakapadiya, licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0.

Only the one ear was affected. There was a surgical procedure to correct this condition. The operation, in my case, was a crashing failure. It left me with vertigo, impaired balance, worse hearing in the right ear than before the operation, plus tinnitus—a constant ringing in the ear. 

“vertigo” by pomarc is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

The dizziness and loss of balance have subsided over time. The deafness is profound and permanent. And the tinnitus has proven to be lifelong.

Tinnitus greatly burdens some of its sufferers, but with me it’s more a curiosity than a curse. My brain ignores the ringing. Only if I happen to think of it do I hear it. Thus I can summon the sound at will, but it normally sinks below my awareness. 

Except on warm summer evenings. Then, if I am outdoors—which I often am—the high-pitched, droning whine of cicadas is everywhere. Whoever I’m with, I ask them:  “Are the cicadas singing?” 

Even when they’re not singing, my ear tells me they are.

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Cicadas are large, prehistoric-looking insects often called locusts. But true locusts are a kind of grasshopper, and these big, ugly bugs do not much resemble them. Therefore, cicada is the proper term.

Despite its repulsive looks, the cicada is a lovely singer, emitting a shrill chirp that is unmistakable. The sound is made by males in order to attract females. (It’s still the same old story, a fight for love and glory, a case of do or die.) 

These males in their search for mating opportunities rapidly buckle and unbuckle an anatomical structure on their bellies known as a tymbal. They do it so rapidly that the numerous clicks fuse into one whine, which can sound cyclical, rising and falling with monotonous regularity. It’s incredibly loud, especially when thousands or millions of the bugs throb out their urgent pleas all at once. It can drive a hearer crazy.

Magicicada photographed near Chicago in 2007. Uploaded by Nickaleck at English Wikipedia. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.5.

Such a thing is especially worrisome in certain years when magicicada—the so-called “seventeen-year locust”—appears. According to Wikipedia, “Most cicadas go through a life cycle that lasts 2–5 years.” When the nymphs come out of the ground, climb trees, shed their exoskeletons, and emerge as adults, they do so in moderately large numbers. But magicicada takes seventeen years from hatching to adulthood. Most of the magicicada in a region come out in the same year. When they do, their numbers can be staggering.

I first encountered them as a young boy in Streator, Illinois. For a week or two, they were everywhere. I remember striding through them, ankle-deep, at a local park. Then they died off. When the next seventeen-year cycle was complete, I no longer lived there.

Wisconsin’s magicicada swarm is expected to emerge in 2024 here. Since I have been a Badger for about sixty-four years now, I must have gone through three of these events already—but I have no recollection of them. This makes me think the Wisconsin brood is less overwhelming than those farther south.

But some cicadas come out every year, even here in the Great Green North. So don’t be surprised if one evening soon, when we are together, I turn to you with my plaintive query, “Are the cicadas singing?” 

Blessings,

Larry F. Sommers, Your New Favorite Writer

Author of Price of Passage—A Tale of Immigration and Liberation.

Price of Passage

Norwegian Farmers and Fugitive Slaves in Pre-Civil War Illinois

(History is not what you thought!)

Alibi

Read Time: 1 minute

DEAR READER:

X-ray of hip replacement. Mikael Häggström. Public Domain.

Your New Favorite Writer will undergo hip replacement surgery Wednesday, January 13. It’s not that big a deal. I’ve been through it before, and my surgeon is first-rate. 

But there is a lot of folderol involved in preparing for, undergoing, and then recovering from this kind of an operation. It also involves the use of drugs that may conjure a state of confusion more pronounced than my usual state of confusion.

I was going to post a new short story this week, but what with everything else, I have not had time to finish it. So I have given you instead a sour commentary on the shenanigans in Washington and what they might signal as far as the rest of us are concerned. That will have to hold you for the time being.

WATCH THIS SPACE. I will be back before long (two weeks? a month?) with a new short story for your entertainment. In the meantime, feel free to peruse my other stories or my nonfiction commentaries.

See you on the other side.

Blessings,

Larry F. Sommers, Your New Favorite Writer

Author of Price of Passage—A Tale of Immigration and Liberation.

Price of Passage

Norwegian Farmers and Fugitive Slaves in Pre-Civil War Illinois

(History is not what you thought!)