Birds swooped over the prairie—black birds with red stripes on their wings, lemon-breasted birds that teetered on tall grass stems burbling out notes of joy.
That’s a sentence from page 52 of my first novel, Price of Passage: A Tale of Immigration and Liberation, describing the scene that greets Anders Gunstensen when he arrives on the Illinois frontier in 1853. Anders, having grown up in Norway, does not know the names of American birds. He only knows how they look and sound—and that’s what I was trying to capture.
When I wrote it, I thought it was a pretty ordinary, workmanlike sentence. But of the thousands of sentences in the book, this is the one that pierced the heart of a reader.
A Loved Sentence
We were at the gala book launch for my new middle-grade book, Izzy Strikes Gold!, and Stephanie Hofer, the mother of our former next-door neighbor, approached me to get my signature on her copy of the former book, Price of Passage.
She made a point of showing me that sentence, which she had starred and underlined on page 52 of her copy.
“I just loved that sentence!” Stephanie said.
She did not say she observed, admired, respected, or judged that sentence extremely well-wrought.
She loved it.
Gentle Reader, there are not too many rewards in this author game. Most of us do not get famous, and heaven knows we make no money at it. We have to take our satisfactions where we can. When a reader truly connects with something I’ve written, it thrills me to my core. This is why we write—to connect with another soul.
Eastern meadowlark singing. Photo by Gary Leavens, licensed under CC-BY-SA-2.0.
Stephanie grew up on the Great Plains, where there are miles and miles of tall-grass meadows filled with red-winged blackbirds and meadowlarks. “I remember seeing meadowlarks,” she said.
I am a city boy myself, even though my cities have always been small or medium-sized ones. But my in-laws used to have a place in the country near Dodgeville, Wisconsin. We would go out there on weekends to relax. About that time of my life I got interested in birds and spent many hours on their wooded hillside and the adjacent grassy meadows, binoculars in hand, early mornings or late afternoons.
Many’s the time I’ve been greeted by a spontaneous burst of enthusiasm from a meadowlark perched on the thinnest of stems, just a foot or two above the prairie. That’s what I was thinking of when I imagined Anders the Norwegian tramping across the Upper Midwestern farmlands for the first time.
I knew exactly what I was describing, and Stephanie knew it, too.
Majestic Sentences
I am a writer, and justly proud of my sentences. In the book Stephanie asked me to sign, I planted a few corkers. For instance:
This time of year, the cold earth fights you for every chunk of granite you try to pull up (page 2).
Or how about:
She seized Anders’ head with both hands, as an eagle grips a big fish (page 10).
Or who could forget:
He studied how to wear his blue uniform, how to tilt the hat, how to tie the neckerchief; how and when to salute an officer, how to stand at attention, how to speak with “aye-aye” and “sir” in every sentence; how to call things by naval words—decks, bulkheads, hatches, fore and aft, starboard and larboard, abaft and abeam; how to give proper respect to every officer and petty officer; how to tell time in bells and speed in knots (page 281).
But the one that endeared the book to Stephanie Hofer was the simple one on page 52 about prairie birds.
So What?
Sometimes a single sentence may endear a story to a reader. The part vouches for the whole. And you never know which sentence it will be.
Therefore it behooves a writer to pay attention to sentences, to try to craft each one as well as it can be written.
Winston S. Churchill, former prime minister of the United Kingdom, famously wrote in a memoir:
The young Winston Churchill. Public Domain.
“[B]y being so long in the lowest form I gained an immense advantage over the cleverer boys. They all went on to learn Latin and Greek and splendid things like that. But I was taught English. We were considered such dunces that we could learn only English. Mr. Somervell—a most delightful man, to whom my debt is great—was charged with the duty of teaching the stupidest boys the most disregarded thing—namely, to write mere English. He knew how to do it. He taught it as no one else has ever taught it. Not only did we learn English parsing thoroughly, but we also practised continually English analysis. . . . Thus I got into my bones the essential structure of the ordinary British sentence—which is a noble thing.”
It’s hard to think that Sir Winston was less than brilliant, even as a boy. But there can be little doubt that learning to write sentences was a key to his great success.
